How should I feel?
by SaigoNoSefirosu
Summary: Okay..revised and should be fixed XD you know..I'm no good at summaries...umm I'll hold a contest read and then message me one and i'll choose the best. YAOI DON'T LIKE DEAL AND STOP READING NOW...I MEAN IT...STOP...
1. The Start

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own anything!**

** And I know most of you are expecting the new chapter of Left For Dead, but I am trying to get this scene perfect (cause I haven writen smut like this before) and I was hospitalized on Christmas...So please be patient, I am almost done XD **

_**Warnings:**_** None yet but future Lemony goodness.**

The man smiled down at his prey, strapped down to a table. It was perfect. The last obstacle was about to be removed. The one thing keeping him from his beloved. He laughed as he heard a whimper, proving that the victim was now awake, though bound and blindfolded, unable to see him.

"H-hello?" Called out the womanly voice. Oh how he hated that voice. He smiled. It would soon be gone.

"Hello My Dear." He purred, loving the shock on the woman, correction, _girls_ voice."I see you have woken."

Behind the blindfold, the girls eyes widened."S-Sebastian? W-what are you doing? Was I kidnapped? Are you here to save me and bring me to Ciel?" She asked, hopeful, for the other thought in her mind scared her.

Sebastian chuckled."Of course not, Dear Lady Elizabeth." His eyes glowed with anticipation at what was to come. "In fact, It was I who did the kidnapping."

Elizabeth shuddered. So she was right. "I was right all along, wasn't I?"

"Whatever do you mean?" He asked, in mock innocence.

"You're going to take my Ciel from me. You're going to kill me." She sighed."I don't think he would love you for this."

Sebastian glared and slapper her harshly, making her gasp in surprise."He is not _yours._" Sebastian growled."He is mine and has been since I met him."

"How is that?" Lizzy asked."When it is I who is betrothed to him."

"There are stronger things than words signed onto papers out there that bind two people." Sebastian replied, removing his gloves. A dark aura surrounded him as he switched to his Demon form. his high-heeled boots forming first, followed by tight pants and a turtle-necked muscle shirt and gloves that stopped mid-forearm. He had beautiful horns that curled on his head, and his hair was slightly longer. He walked over and took the blind fold off, holding up his left hand. "There are contracts for one." he said, smiling at her wide eyes.

"Wh-what are you?" She gasped."Does Ciel know about this?"

"Of course he does. He has this same mark on his right eye, underneath that eye patch." He smiled.

Elizabeth's eyes widened more."He-he didn't! He wouldn't contract a Demon!" She gasped, shaking her head.

Sebastian chuckled."Oh yes he would. He even loves such a being." he replied with a cold tone."He is mine in soul, and soon to be body."

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes."Thats disgusting! Two men? Lovers? Ciel has too much pride to sink to sleeping with a man, much less a Demon man!"

Sebastian laughed."If you think so." He shrugged."But you wont live long enough to prove your theory." He said as he pulled out a knife.

Elizabeth's eyes widened, once again."You won't kill me. Ciel would be mad...He..he would hate you for his. I am his cousin! his fiancee! He will never forgive you!" She screamed, struggling against the chains that held her wrists and ankles, making Sebastian laugh again.

"Oh I think he will. After all, a fiancee that gives her first kiss to another is worth nothing."

Tears formed in Elizabeth's eyes."But Al-Alois forced me." she cried."I didn't want it!" She was struggling harder now, screaming and crying.

Sebastian laughed."It doesn't matter. Ciel was here to see it, and now he believes you betrayed him. With Trancy even." he chuckled more as he lifted the knife, cutting lightly down her cheek."You may be lucky that this is the only place Ciel has placed his lips upon you." he snarled."I don't think I'll kill you right away. After all, I have to prepare lunch for Bocchan."

Sebastian left Elizabeth crying and begging o be free. No one would hear or find her. She was in a special place hidden by his powers. he laughed to himself. "I believe this may turn out to be quite a delight. I need a soul anyways. I've been starving for three years." He laughed louder as he closed the door, leaving to prepare Ciels lunch. It would be a waste if he were late. now wouldnt it?

**So I hoped you like it, and I hope I play a good Sebastian...If anyone is going to Anime Matsuri in Houston TX, please E-mail me cause I would love to meet you guys and thank you personally for reading my stories.!**


	2. His Butler, Talented

**Disclaimer: So..I own nothing...yup. But I will be a Sebastian for the upcoming Anime Matsuri in Houston Texas..**

**So WOW! I love you guys. I put the story up and the next day have four faves, story alerts, and author subscriptions! I'm glad you liked it XD It makes me so happy! Now: ONTO THE STORY! Oh! and the inspiration for this story is a song called Monster by Meg and Dia XD**

Sebastian strode into the kitchen, rolling up his sleeves as he went, a devilish smile on his face. Bard looked up to greet him, blinking. "Mr. Sebastian, you seem to be in a good mood today." He said, trying to sneak his flamethrower away.

Sebastian chuckled. "I suppose you could say that. And Bard, give me that weapon. I've told you many times to stop using them." he said. "Though none of you seem to listen..." He thought to himself. He began putting vegetables into a pot, letting them boil as he went to the meat, gently moving Bard out of the way. "Could you go see if May-rin has broken anything?"

"Yes Sir!" Bard said, over dramatically as usual and left, but not before spotting blood on Sebastians shirt. He shrugged thinking it must have been from the meat. Sebastian sighed as he left and finished making the meal, not forgetting the sweets of course. He smiled thinking of how fond Ciel was of them. "He may seem mature, but he is still a child." Sebastian chuckled to himself. He left to Ciel's office, knocking gently on the door. "Bocchan, your lunch is done. Will you take it in the dining room?"

"I'll take it in here. Come in, Sebastian." Came Ciel's voice from behind the door. Sebastian entered, having quickly changed shirts, and brought the meal to Ciel. "Lunch today is Steak with carrots and cauliflower. The dessert is a Cherry Cheesecake." He said with a short bow. Ciel glanced at the dessert first, then the meal. As always it looked perfect. He wondered if he would ever catch a mistake from his 'Butler'. He sighed, taking a bite of his lunch. Of course it was amazingly delicious. He sighed. "Won't you ever mess up?" he thought aloud. Sebastian chuckled. "Is that what you wish, Bocchan?"

Ciel scowled. "Sebastian, haven't I told you to quit the formalities when we are alone?" He sighed. "I don't like it when we are like this."

Sebastian smiled widely. "Like what, Ciel." he said, practically purring his name out. Ciel shivered. He paused before talking, still unused to the concept. "Lovers." he said.

"Ciel, we aren't Lovers. A mere couple, maybe, but we haven't gotten to the 'Lovers' Stage." he smiled wider before adding, "You're far too innocent for us to be 'Lovers'."

Ciel growled. "What are you talking about, Demon?"

"A kiss is innocent, Ciel, a few touches over clothes is innocent. Heated breaths during your nightly bath from a mear stroking is innocent, Ciel." With each word, Sebastian had stepped closer, until he hit the front of the desk, leaning over it. "No matter what we have done, you are still innocent. Still have your blessed virginity intact." he slipped a hand under Ciel's chin.

Ciel glared at him. "Of course I am! I've never slept with a woman before!" Sebastian smiled. "Good, but Ciel, I'm a man. Do you want it to be me who has your virginty?"

Ciel blinked. "You...How? We are both men..."

Sebastian laughed."Would you like me to show you?"

Ciel blushed before saying his reply quietly. "Tonight..." he said, blushing more. "It's an order.."

Sebastian smiled. "Yes, My Lord." he said, pleased. He leaned down, still holding Ciel's chin and kissed him gently. Ciel leaned up into it, wrapping his arms around his Demon to pull him down more. Sebastian purred, leaving for a moment before kneeling in between Ciel's legs, kissing him once again, his hands resting on Ciel's thighs. Ciel gasped, finding it easier to kiss Sebastian in this position. Sebastian moved his contract hand up a little further Ciel's leg. Ciel moaned a little, moving closer to Sebastian until he was practically on his lap. Sebastian moved his lips down, kissing Ciel's neck now as Ciel held tightly onto him, unused to the feeling coursing through him, leaning his head back. Sebastian purred, standing and setting Ciel on his desk. He smiled, feeling the tell-tale bulge in Ciel's pants. "Oh Ciel, so hard from just a kiss?"

Ciel blushed. "Sh-shut up." he said. Sebastian chuckled. "Would you like me to take care of it?" Ciel gasped as Sebastian undid his pants, with that damned smirk on his face, before he took Ciel's member out, licking his lips. "So? Ciel, do you want me to fix your problem?"

Ciel breathed harder, still blushing, before subtly nodding. Cerulean eyes widened and small lips opened in a small moan as Sebastian's head lowered and he licked the sensitive tip with a devilish tongue.

Sebastian moaned as he tasted Ciel. It was greater than he thought. If this was just his essence he wondered what his blood would taste like. Or his soul. He groaned at the thought, sucking on Ciel's tip now. Ciel gasped, trying to hold his voice in, but it was hard with that tongue wrapping around him, sucking him into that mouth. A loud moan ripped out of his throat as Sebastian sucked harder, taking all of Ciel in and moaning around him.

Ciel grabbed onto Sebastian's hair, biting his lip as he unconsciously thrust his hips up. Sebastian held his hips down, sucking even harder and stroking his thighs. Ciel moaned and came harshly, for the first time, into Sebastian's mouth, panting. Sebastian swallowed everything, backing up and licking his lips before fixing Ciel. He kissed him once again. "Ciel," he breathed. "You still have lunch to finish."

Ciel blushed brightly. "Well, whose fault is it for interrupting me?" he bristled.

Sebastian chuckled. "I believe I will take credit for that." he smiled. Suddenly the door bell rang signaling an unexpected guest. Sebastian frowned, bowing. "I shall go check on this Guest." he said, before leaving Ciel alone with his thoughts. He had to admit to himself, his Demon had one Hell of a talented mouth.

**So here is the second chapter. UNEXPECTED SMUT! YAY! Lol please review and tell me how I did. I love you my readers who keep me going. Especially in this story! Do I play a good Sebastian? i think I did a horrible Ciel...Anyways, to all who Reviewed you get Cookies Milk and Smut XD Oh! And Sebastian for a day...maybe.**


	3. Trouble and a Lemon

**Disclaimer:**** Still dont own...**

**I have to majorly thank My Beta Devil's little Angel! Without her well...I think I would be getting a lot of Grammer Correction people... Tee Hee! So anyways, sorry I couldn't get this out in time for Valentines Day (A.K.A. Vincent's Day. Final Fantasy Lovers, you know who I mean =^-^=) But My internet is acting up DX. And College. But I'll update ASAP. Love you 3**

Sebastian frowned as he walked to the door, frowning. _"Who could be at our door uninvited?"_ he thought, his question soon answered as he opened the door.

Francis Middleford stood at the door, a worried look on her face, Her husband standing next to her. One look at Sebastian and she sighed."Even at a time like this your hair is still so wrong." she pulled it up, pinning it back as Sebastian hid a glare.

"What do you mean, 'At a time like this?" He asked, though he already knew the reason behind this visit.

Francis frowned."I thought you would've heard by now." She said."Where is Ciel?"

Sebastian smiled lightly, moving to the side."Come have a seat. I shall get Ciel and tea." He said, bowing slightly before leaving. He went to Ciels office, knocking. "Bocchan, Your Aunt Francis is in the sitting room." He said, opening the door.

Ciel frowned."Why? She never schedualed and appointment." He said.

"I believe this situation is much more grave than a friendly visit. Your Uncle is here as well."

Ceil frowned deeper, before realizing the one name left out."Lizzy.." he breathed, eyes wide. "Sebastian! Was Lizzy with them?" he asked.

Sebastian hid a twitch and a frown."No Bocchan. Miss Elizabeth seems to be absent from their pressance."

Ceil nodded, standing. "I'll go down to greet them, you go make some tea." he said."I have a feeling they might need it."

Sebastian gave a small bow, contract hand over his heart."Yes My Lord."

The Demon turned, a scowl on his face._"But should I have expected any less? She isn't even here and the annoying _Lady _is still on My Lords mind."_ Sebastian sighed, shaking his head. He would deal with it later. Right now he had an order to carry out.

Ciel sat in the Parlor, trying to comfort his Aunt as the recent news settled in his brain._ "Lizzy...missing? Whenever she leaves her house she always comes here...but_ _I haven't heard from her...or that annoying cry of my name from her. Could this be like the puppet case? But Drocell is dead...Then again we never saw the real owner..."_ Ciel shook his head, trying not to worry to much.

Just then Sebastian walked into the room, with a tray of Tea and Blueberry Scones. He made a half bow and smiled."Bocchan, Mr. and Mrs. Middleford, The tea is ready." He said, searving everyone before moving to stand by his Master. "Thank you, sebastian." Mrs. Middleford smiled weakly, clearly as upset as everyone else in the room. Well, except for one. Though he looked sad and apologetic on the outside, Sebastian was fuming inside his head. _"How can I make it convincing to Bocchan that I can't find Elizabeth. I see no way...Maybe if I just kill her now and throw her body somewhere." _He inwardly sighed. _"But I havent had my fun yet..."_

"Sebastian!" His Bocchan's voice took him out of his thoughts. "Yes, Bocchan?"

"I have been calling you for three minuets." Ciel sighed."What were you thinking?"

Sebastian frowned, but bowed slightly."My apologies, Bocchan. I was trying to think of where Miss Elizabeth could have gone." He paused and smiled before deciding to add something. "I was also running through the preporations for tonight, My Lord."

Ciel stiffened before glaring, trying to hide a blush, due to his Butler's second statement. He coughed."Well, you should probably go check those areas for Elizabeth, shouldn't you?"

Sebastian smiled again, like the perfrfect butler, and bowed at the waist."I was mearly awaiting your order to do so." He replied turning to leave.

Ciel smirked, looking as if he hid a secret."Be sure to be back before dinner." he ordered.

"Yes My Lord." was the reply, and then Sebastian was gone. Ciel stood, turning to the confused faces of his Aunt and Uncle. "I will tell you any news we recieve, but you really should be heading out before it gets dark. I wouldn't want you to run into trouble." He stated, that fake smile back in place.

The Middlefords left, leaving Ciel alone, unless one decided to count the fools Sebastian called servants. He knew they meant well, but, sometimes he wished they would be less...thourough at their jobs. He sighed shaking his head and walked to his Office. He had paperwork to ignore...I mean finish.

Hours later, a knock sounded on Ciels office door."Enter!" he called out in a bored tone.

Sebastian walked in holding a thick stack of papers."Bocchan, I have checked every area Elizabeth might have traveled to, but found no trace of her. These papers are some of the places kidnaps have happened throughout the last decade, though some of these I doubt she would go to, I decided to place them here anyways." He bowed and placed the papers on a clean side of Ciels desk.

Ciel groaned as he sat back in his chair to stretch. "I'll look at them tomorrow." he sighed."Right now prepare my bath, I need to relax."

Sebastian smiled."Yes Bocchan." he said, going to Ciels bathroom. After he got the water ready he looked through the oils. _"Lets see, Rose, no to strong right now. Lilac, never liked that scent. Vanilla.." _He stopped and smiled. "A perfect scent.." he mumered out loud, pouring some into the hot water. He stood and opened the door, expecting Ciel to still be in his office. Instead, he stood in his room, jacket and tie off, trying to work on the buttons. Sebastian chuckled, making Ciel jump slightly and look up.

Ciel glared."Well? What are you standing around for? Undress me." he ordered, making Sebastian smile widely."With pleasure, My Lord." he purred out, making Ciels cheeks red.

Sebastian kneeled in front of Ciel and began to undo his shirt slowly, sneaking in sexual touches whenever he could, making Ciel squirm and bite his lip. "Is something wrong, Bocchan?" Sebastian asked with fake conceren when he finished taking his shirt off. "You seem a bit flustered."

"Whos fault is that?" Ciel shot back. "I can't help it with you touching me like that." he glared.

Sebastian chuckled, running a finger over a nipple roughly."Like this?" he smiled as he trailed his finger down, lightly, reaching Ciles pants, taking them off and slowly undressining the rest of him, still sneaking touches.

By the time he was done Ciel's face was flushed, and his mouth was open slightly, small and quiet pants coming out. Sebastian smiled a devilish grin. "Are you ready for your bath?" he asked like nothing was wrong.

Ciel glared."Sebastian."

"Yes?" Sebastian asked, cocking his head.

"Screw the bath and come here." the bluenet ordered, a cocky smirk on his face. "I do believe it is time to fulfill my previous orders, and 'Love' me." he said, sitting against the head board with his legs slightly spread, nothing actually showing, but giving Sebastian a slight view of his masters erection. Ciels arms were reaching for his Demon. "Take me Sebastian. It's an Order."

Sebastian smiled."Are you sure, Ciel? You can't take this Order back. No matter what."

Ciel scowled."Don't make me repeat myself, Sebastian."

As soon as the words escaped Ciels mouth, Sebastian moved, stripping himself and kissing Ciel deeply, running a hand the small boy chest. "Yes, My Lord." he smiled, pulling back so Ciel could breath. He took Ciels lips back, reaching his erection, teasing the tip with almost touching fingers. Ciel groaned into his mouth, trying to arch his hips up, Sebastian's free hand holding his hips down. The demon nibbled on his Masters bottom lip, making the child gasp slipping his tongue into his mouth, exploring every inch before moving to play with Ciels tongue, beginning to stroke him now.

Ciel moaned breaking the kiss to breath, Sebastian moving to suck on his collarbone. The boy shuddered, attempting, and failing, to hold in his moans. Sebastian chuckled at his Masters attepmts to stay quiet, loving it when a moan of gasp escaped his lips. He wanted to hear more. He bit down lightly on Ciels collarbone making the young boy cry out loudly. "Se-Se-bas-_Ah!_-tian.." he moaned as the Demon moved lower ever so slowly. His eye_s _flashed as he heard his Master call out his name, a lustful growl coming from his throat. He lifted his head and gazed into Ciels lust-filled eyes, his eye patch still on. Sebastian frowned at this, taking it off roughly, a devilish grin on his face as his mark on the boy grew visable. "Do you know how delicious you look right now,_ Master_?" He purred, licking his lips, his eyes roaming over the boys body. Ciel shivered at both his demons words and stare. He began to pull his legs up to cover himself when Sebastians hands stopped the movement. "Don't hide from me Bocchan." he said softly, lowering and spreading his legs. "You can hide from everyone else on this lonely planet, but not me."

Ciel nodded slightly, a small smile on his lips."Be careful, Demon. I may start to think you actually love me." he chuckled. Sebastian looked straight into Ciels eyes. "I don't remember saying I didn't." He said, kissing Ciel softly yet intensly. The young boys eyes widened, before falling closed as he kissed back, matching the Demon in passion. "Call out to me.." Ciel said as the broke apart.

"Mas.." Sebastian started before ciels growl cut him off. "No. Say it." he said.

"Say what, Bocchan?"

"My name." the boy growled, rolling his eyes, kissing the Demon softly. "I want to hear you say it."

Sebastian stared shocked, for Ciel never requested anything. Always Ordering him. He smiled softly."Ciel my love." he said, stroking the side of the boys cheek. Ciel smiled softly. "You're not fulfilling my Orders." he smiled. Sebastian chuckled moving three fingers to the boys mouth."Suck." he said. Ciel paused but obeyed taking in all three fingers, coating them with saliva. Sebastian moaned at the sight, staring at his mouth thinking of what else it could be on, sucking. he closed his eyes, removing his fingers once they were coated.

Cile looked up at Sebastian with half-lidded eyes, watching The Demons fingers dissapear as he lowed them. Sebastian smiled and pushed his middle finger into Ciel, making the boy squirm. "Se-Sebastian, get it out. It feels weird.." Ciel groaned, making the Demon chuckle.

"Be paitent. It will get better." he said, kissing the boy again, adding a second finger, making Ciel wince even more. He began scissoring his fingers, streatching the boy before adding a third, hitting Ciels prostate at the third trust of his fingers. Ciel moaned louder, bucking his hips into the unknown sensation. Sebastian smiled and moved them a bit faster, sliding his tongue into the boys open mouth. Ciel moaned again, the moan turning to a whimper of protest as Sebastian removed his fingers. "It's only for a second, Ciel." Sebastian said, removing his mouth from the boys, so the latter could breath.

Ciel nodded as Sebastian got into posistion."Are you sure about this?" he asked once again. Ciel glared."I don't take back my Orders, Sebastian." He said. Sebastian nodded."As you wish." he said, slowly pushing into Ciel, groaning at how tight he was. Ciel cried out in discomfort, moving slightly."Se-bas-tian...It-it hurts.."

Sebastian kissed the young boy gently."It will soon pass.." he said, beginning to move slowly, looking for that one spot that would send pleasure through his lover. At his fith thrust Ciel screamed out in pleassure. His body arched into Sebastians."Ah! Th-there! Wha-what was that?" he cried out, face now fully flushed.

The Demon chuckled."It is called the prostate, Ciel. As you can tell it bring imense pleasure to the body when hit right." Ciel groaned."I don't need a lesson right now!" he breathed out."Jus Move!" he ordered. "Yes My Lord." Sebastian smiled, beginning to thrust fastly into Ciel, making the boy moan and cling to Sebastian tightly, arms wrraped around his neck, legs around his waist. Sebastian leaned down and bit the juncture between Ciels shoulder and neck, wanting to leave a mark on the boy, but not a visable one. Ciel's mind was in compleate pleasure, not even regestering the pain Sebastians bite should brought him. He closed his eyes as his Demon sped up his pace, even moving harder, the bed slamming against the wall, neither of the lovers hearing the loud bangs in their pleasure. Ciel's inexperianced body was getting to close to the edge to fast and soon enough he came, splattering a clear-ish white liquid over them both, squeezing around Sebastian making the Demon groan at how immpossibly tight the boy had gotten, coming into Ciel shortly after, white filling his vision as he bite harder on Ciel to muffle his cry so the servants didn't hear.

He lifted his head a moment later to see Ciel nearly passed out, panting, face flushed and covered in the evidance of their previous activites. Sebastian gave a devilish smiled, licking the mess up before pulling out of the boy to clean the rest, Ciel squirming under the talented tongue."Se-bastian," he breathed out."S-stay here tonight?" he asked.

"My, my. Is Bocchan showing weakness?" he teased. Ciel frowned flustered."No! I-I just want you to stay." he said.

Sebastian smiled, pulling the boy close to him."Yes My Love." he whispered into Ciels ear, closing his eyes and listening to the boy fall asleep.

**Okay so yes the things said above are ture, but I also went to Anime Matsuri this month and got tottaly side-tracked by the amazingness of it because it was my first Con XD Besides that this was my first lemon so I wanted it to be perfect...So reveiw and tell me how I did? ****FREE COOKIES AND GOLDEN CHOCOBOS WITH ERVERY REVIEW GOOD OR BAD AS LONG AS IT IS CRITISISM THAT CAN MAKE ME WRITE BETTER FOR YOU!**


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